The Hollywood Commandments Read online

  Every business is a pyramid; there are a lot more people at the bottom looking for handholds to start climbing than there are at the top occupying the corner offices and taking home seven-figure bonuses. So, if you’re starting your career climb, you have plenty of company. Talk to people. Band together for support and ideas. Getting up that pyramid is rough; lean on each other. Have each other’s back. Be happy for each other’s success.

  Of course, you don’t want everyone as an ally. There’s a great line from the film The Adventures of Priscilla, Queen of the Desert (where most of us first got to know the brilliant Hugo Weaving and Guy Pearce) that sums this up perfectly: “There are two things I don’t like about you—your face.” In any field, you will find people who cannot be trusted and a few who might actively try to undermine you. They are rare, but they’re out there. Reach out and build alliances, but have your eyes open. If you come across someone who appears unable to maintain alliances or who has a reputation for being untrustworthy, that’s probably a person you should avoid.

  False Idols

  One thing about the rules is that, while you can choose to follow them or not follow them, you do yourself a disservice if you act like they don’t exist. The rules are the collective product of people who have worked in your field for decades, perhaps even centuries. They are codes of conduct that are permanent parts of the landscape, so if you don’t like one of them, that’s okay. But before you disregard a certain rule, understand it. When you master the game, you might be able to apply a rule in a new way. But be careful about deciding that the rules don’t apply to you, because they apply to everyone. No exceptions.

  RULE #4: YOU WILL BE HELD ACCOUNTABLE

  Just as the Hebrew Boys were held accountable for their decision to pursue their faith-prescribed dietary approach, you will be held accountable for your choices and performance. Incidentally, that’s not always negative; accountability simply means that you will reap the fruits of what you sow. If you put in long hours and do terrific work, accountability might mean being rewarded with advancement. However, good or bad, accountability always means this:

  Everything you do creates expectations about what you’ll do next.

  From the minute you step into an office, studio, school, or hospital to start a job, you begin creating expectations, and you will be held accountable according to how you uphold those expectations. If you go above and beyond to solve a problem for your boss during the first week, she’s probably going to expect that kind of performance from you all the time. If you slack off and drop the ball on a project, people might expect you to be unreliable until you prove otherwise. So, accountability isn’t just being called on the carpet for what you do right or wrong but also having to be mindful about the expectations your work creates in others.

  Some smart questions to ask as you move through your career:

  •What expectations are my work, choices, and professionalism creating, especially for the people who can make decisions that harm or help my career?

  •Am I living up to the positive expectations and how can I do that better?

  •How can I shed any negative expectations?

  The other tricky thing about accountability is that it occurs whether you are aware of it or not. Everything you do has an impact on how you are perceived and the opportunities you’re afforded, even if there’s no call to the boss’s office or big promotion. Accountability can be loud or it can be quiet, but it’s always there.

  RULE #5: CHARACTER IS PERSUASIVE

  Selflessness, reliability, morals—it’s easy to be cynical about them and call them old-fashioned, but don’t be fooled. People at every level, in every business, all the way to the penthouse or corner office, care deeply about and respect people who are honest, keep their word, and live according to a set of strong moral and ethical precepts. People are people everywhere, and we all want to work with colleagues we can trust, who care about us, and who do the right thing.

  Because you come into the world of your career from a background in the church, that makes your faith-based moral center a powerful advantage. Even if you have no experience, even if you’re starting at the bottom rung of the ladder, you can always be generous, just, kind, dependable, hardworking, of service, and a good listener. None of those qualities requires an advanced degree or any sort of apprentice program; just be who you are. Over time, you will find that people recognize, then appreciate, and finally reward those qualities.

  What can make this difficult is when you see people passing you on the career climb who do not display good character. They gossip, for instance, or undercut their peers. It happens. But in the long run, those people always fail. Always. And even if they didn’t, you’re in this for more than career advancement; you’re in this to become the person God wants you to be. Even if your ascent is a little bit slower because you play by the rules, it will be more sure and sustainable, and you’ll appreciate who you are becoming as you climb the ladder to the top.

  Exodus

  The rules impact everyone. What if you find yourself working for an individual (or company) who believes the rules don’t apply to them? Who thinks it’s okay to lie, cheat, intimidate, and harass as a path to success? No matter how big the carrot is, no matter how powerful the person in charge claims to be, leave. The people you associate with affect you, and if you stay with a person, organization, or company that inherently does business in the wrong way, it can impact you negatively for years to come.

  RULE #6: THERE ARE ALWAYS LEVERS OF POWER

  Levers of power are pressure points that, if pushed, can make things happen. They exist in every profession. In Hollywood, a great idea is an important pressure point, because every movie and TV show begins with an idea—sometimes expressed as a screenplay, sometimes expressed just as a short, written summary called a treatment. Even if you’re new to Hollywood, with no connections and nothing on your resume, a great idea can make things happen for you. Agents are also levers of power because they can open doors and establish relationships with important decision-makers.

  Every field has its levers of power. In Washington, they are lobbyists for special interests. In Silicon Valley, they’re the tech journalists who can turn an unknown startup into a venture-capital darling overnight. In academia, a key lever of power is getting your work published in the right peer-reviewed journal. They exist in your field, too. The key questions are, what are they and how can you push them to your benefit?

  Finding these levers is a matter of looking in the right place. What are the events that seem to make things happen in your world? What makes the money flow? What attracts influential people to a company or event? What gets attention and commands respect? Once you can answer those questions, the next obvious question is, how can you push those levers to your own benefit? For example, let’s say you work in the New York fashion world, and you notice that the journalists who cover Fashion Week not only get access but get their work read around the world and sometimes get career opportunities. That’s a lever. So, you start your own blog about Fashion Week, leverage what contacts you have, and write some of your own original coverage of the shows and new lines. If you do great work, maybe you get noticed, get some business cards from heavy hitters, and even get some job interviews.

  Figure out what the levers are and how to use them. Then you work on getting close enough to push.

  RULE #7: THE PLAYERS AREN’T ALWAYS WHO THEY APPEAR TO BE

  People are levers of power. The tricky part is that the people who can really make things happen for you aren’t always the people you think. For example, in Hollywood, the obvious power players are the studio executives, the directors, the big-name actors, and the powerful agents. And it’s true that those people have a great deal of power. However, they aren’t always the ones to set the wheels in motion for a new film or to give an aspiring actor or writer an opportunity. Often, the people who move heaven and earth to actually make things happen on the ground are the administrative assistant
s, the personal assistants, and the crew.

  The reality is that sometimes the people with the most important titles are the ones least able to provide opportunities. I know that seems ironic but it’s true. For instance, the CEO of a corporation might be so distanced from the day-to-day work of the company that he or she doesn’t really know which employees are doing great work. However, a manager further down the chain of command might know who the budding superstars in the company are—and which opportunities best suit them. If you work in a school, your principal might be too busy to understand what you’re capable of, but the assistant principal might become your champion.

  My definition of power players has nothing to do with title or salary. Real power players are people who can pick up the phone or send an email and get the wheels turning, and those aren’t always the people in the big offices but the people below them who do the scheduling, make all the phone calls, and have the experience and relationships in the industry to make things happen the way they’re supposed to.

  My advice? Be a person of morals, ethics, discipline, and high performance to everyone from the people in the C-suite down to the people on the front lines and in the cubicles.

  Away from the Workplace

  Every arena of human activity has rules, including marriage and friendships. You need to learn these rules and adhere to them because they’re vital for being happy in these areas. For example, one of the rules of friendship I follow is that friends don’t bad-mouth each other behind each other’s backs. We’re supportive and, if the situation calls for it, critical. But we don’t run each other down. If you can’t obey that rule, then you need to find some new friends. What are the rules in the other areas of your life—relationships, family, school, church? Are you honoring them?

  RULE #8: PATIENCE PAYS

  This rule is slightly tricky to manage. It might even appear that I’m contradicting myself. In the past, I’ve said that you should go after your career goals with ambition and vigor. Now I’m counseling you to be patient. Why the change?

  There is no change. You should always be aggressive about pursuing what you want, but there are times when the career path you desire is simply not within your reach—not yet, anyway. Those are times for patience. Do all the right things, build the right relationships, and then be patient—because that’s all you can do. Sometimes building a career means planting the seeds and waiting for harvest time to come. Meanwhile, you sharpen the tools and prepare yourself, but it’s out of your hands and in God’s hands.

  Don’t be passive. Passivity means you don’t speak up, fail to demand credit where it’s due, or tolerate behavior that goes against your values. Be actively assertive about who you are and how you want to be in your career of choice. Demonstrate your character, put yourself in a position to have your work seen, and then put your head down and just get things done. It takes time for certain things to manifest. Remember, it took me eighteen years to finally achieve my dream of becoming a producer.

  RULE #9: PEOPLE ARE FICKLE . . . DON’T TAKE IT PERSONALLY

  People can change on a dime depending on how much they think they need you at any given moment. Don’t base your self-worth on attention or approval from anyone you know. I’ve seen people make that mistake many times, and it’s devastating to watch. One day, some friends of mine were “in” with a group with whom they found validation. Then, for no apparent reason, that group no longer found the same value in the relationship with my friends. Just like that, phone calls stopped being returned, projects stopped flowing, and the relationship went cold. My friends were crushed. It was difficult to see people I cared about deal with the pain, humiliation, and confusion of no longer being in a relationship with people they thought valued them, only to find out that they were disposable.

  Your self-worth should be based on one factor: being the person God created you to be. In other words:

  You are who you are no matter what people say or do.

  The reality of life is that when you’re in the spotlight, adoration can turn to anger in the blink of an eye. In March 2017, Billboard published an article about Chris Brown that said, “Many people who are thrust into the spotlight [as kids] are traumatized when they make a mistake and realize how fast that love turns to hatred. When I look in Chris’ eyes, I think that’s some of the pain.” None of us is immune to this, and the more public you are, the worse it is. It is devastating when people turn on you.

  There is nothing wrong with having a strong network of associates—in fact, it’s a critical part of a thriving career. However, your self-esteem should not rest on those associations, because they are usually matters of convenience. True friends will stick with you through thick and thin, but you will also encounter many who want to be around you because you are enjoying a degree of success—and when that success fades, so will their interest in you.

  Years ago, I met with singing superstar Ciara, and she told me, “People shake your hand differently when you have a hit song on the radio. They treat you differently when you don’t.” My wife, Meagan, said, “There are times when I have a hit movie and I go to an event and I’m escorted to the front of the line. There are times when I don’t have a hit film and I’m told to wait in the back of the line.” The point is, people are fickle and fame is fleeting. Don’t be a different person based on who’s in your corner or who’s returning your calls. Be the same version of yourself no matter whom you’re with.

  Part of the reason for this is self-protection. If you don’t base your self-esteem on other people’s approval, you won’t be as devastated when someone you thought was a friend turns out to be something else. Letting such betrayals make you question your worth and who you are can lead to bitterness, anger, and resentment, and those emotions can lead to long-term professional, emotional, and spiritual damage. There’s an old saying: “Friends are for a reason or a season.” Friends who are with you for a season will come and go as your and their fortunes rise and fall, but friends who are there for a reason will be friends no matter what happens. Learn the difference between the two and remember that God’s approval is ultimately all you need.

  RULE #10: FRUSTRATION IS DISRUPTIVE

  Frustration—a feeling of dissatisfaction, often accompanied by anxiety or depression, resulting from unfulfilled needs—will derail every dream and goal you have because it will make you believe that what you’re waiting for will never happen. How often do we find ourselves frustrated because things aren’t progressing as we’d hoped for in our life and career? If you’re anything like me, then the answer is often. Over my twenty years in entertainment, there have been times that I’ve been frustrated to the point of tears. Early on, my desire to succeed was consuming, but I felt like success was nowhere in sight.

  Frustration is disruptive because it’s like a virus in your spirit. One of the most important areas it impacts negatively is your disposition and your energy. When you are working with others, do you put out positive energy or negative energy? Maintaining a positive disposition even in times of hardship works like a magnet, attracting more people and opportunities to you; a negative disposition does the opposite. When you’re frustrated, people can tell. Being frustrated wastes energy and time. Instead of presenting your best self and doing your best work, your frustration compromises you. In your impatience to make success happen, you take shortcuts, don’t deliver your best work, and alienate people who in other circumstances might be allies.

  Even now, there are many things I’m hoping to achieve and believe will manifest. Yet when I don’t see them happening fast enough, I’m guilty of becoming frustrated. Frustration zaps my energy and my time. I’ve spent weeks lost in frustration and crippled by it. I couldn’t move forward or even think forward because I was so upset with what wasn’t happening in my life. Resist the temptation to give in to frustration, because at its core, frustration is an expression that you don’t believe that God’s plan for you will really manifest. But it will. God has a plan and a time w
hen things are destined to come to pass in your life and your career. If you find yourself getting frustrated, stop and look at what’s in front of you and ask yourself: “What’s the best I can do right now with what I have?”

  Here’s a prayer that might also help you get through:

  THE FRUSTRATION PRAYER

  Dear Almighty God,

  Please help me deal with this virus called Frustration. I’m frustrated because I’m not where I want to be, I’m frustrated because I know I’m talented and have a calling on my life, but I don’t see how anything You’ve promised me will ever come to pass. I’m frustrated because I’m tired of being overlooked and passed on. I’m frustrated because I’m tired of being told I’m not good enough. I’m frustrated because I have a burning desire to be successful yet it doesn’t seem like it’s going to happen. I’m frustrated because I never can seem to catch a break. I’m frustrated because I keep seeing a vision of the life I want to live but the life I currently live looks nothing like it yet.

  Please, my God, help me. I’m crying out to You from the depths of my soul! I need peace to sustain me during the times when my frustration is so intense I start to lose my faith. I come against the frustration that seeks to derail my very existence! No weapon formed against me will prosper! I claim every good and perfect gift You’ve already planned for my life and I submit my career to You! You said Your word would not return to You void and anything I ask for in the name of Jesus, You would do, so in the name of Jesus, I claim victory over this frustration that threatens to disrupt my God-ordained destiny!

  I claim this peace in the mighty name of Jesus.

  AMEN!!!

  HOW WILL YOU KNOW YOU’RE WINNING?

  Now that we’ve reviewed the rules, the next logical question is how do we know when we’re winning? If you play a game, you do it to win, and I assume that’s true in your career, too. But what does winning look like for you, and how will you know when you’ve won?