The Hollywood Commandments Read online

  I’ll never forget what happened next. Amy, Michael, Doug, and George Rose, the head of HR, and I got together for a meeting to discuss how to make my deal work. Apparently, I had stumped them. Amy told me, “We have never met this many times and had this many discussions about somebody’s job.”

  We were at an impasse, and that might have scared most people. Maybe I was being too difficult and requiring too much of their time. But I knew that wasn’t what she meant. I didn’t easily fit into the corporate structure, and what I wanted to do was so uniquely valuable that it required time, consideration, and creative thinking. I loved this. I was challenging the top people at Sony to think differently about me. While that slowed things down, it also meant that they would be invested in me. They understood the value I had created and believed I could create even more; this was why they were thinking about how best to handle me.

  Eventually, a deal was made that made both sides happy. The powers that be took me directly out of the Columbia Pictures division so I could make some movies through Columbia and TriStar, gave me development money so I could buy scripts, promoted me to senior vice president, and raised my salary. I effectively had my own pod within the studio.

  I was thrilled. Before we closed the deal, I found out that I would be making a little bit less than other senior vice presidents had historically been paid. But I said, “What I’ve gotten in this deal is more valuable than more money. I’ve gotten more time, more flexibility, and more freedom.” There was no way to put a price on that.

  DON’T LET HUMILITY UNDERMINE YOUR VALUE

  Through all my various negotiations, I have come to learn the next Commandment:

  You Get What You Negotiate (Not What You’re Worth)

  This is true not only in your professional life but in every area of your life. People may know your worth but life isn’t merit based; you can’t assume that people are going to give you what you’ve earned. You must negotiate for it. Many Christians labor under the misconception that being humble and moral and righteous is enough to get you what you want. And that’s just not true. We also have to know what it means to be valued and valuable and bring forth both in how we negotiate. It’s essential to have a strong sense of your own self-worth so you can be a fierce advocate for your interests.

  As people of faith, we have a hard time assessing our value and then fighting for it. These are not things that we’re conditioned to do. While learning scriptures, you never hear the pastor or the elders say, “Here’s how you negotiate. Here’s what you need to know when you’re navigating your career and it comes time to sign a contract. These are the types of alliances you’ll need to build. Here’s how to realistically assess the value you’ve created and how you should be compensated for that value.” Maybe you are thinking, “Isn’t that what business school is for?” But in every career path, not just in Hollywood, and not just in business, we all have to deal with negotiation at some point, whether it’s a barista negotiating for a raise, a teacher working to get more supplies for his classroom, or a Realtor trying to get better closing terms for her client. Too many people of faith are ill-equipped to successfully navigate the ins and outs of career advancement, of which negotiation is an essential part.

  Why is this especially a problem for people of faith? The problem is our misinterpretation of humility. Yes, humility before God is the foundation of our faith—and yes, I believe it when the Bible says, “Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time” (1 Peter 5:6, NIV) or, “Pride leads to disgrace but with humility comes wisdom” (Proverbs 11:2, NLT). However, we apply these verses in ways that were never intended. What does it mean to be humble? The type of humility the Bible is referencing relates to how we view ourselves relative to God. This type of humility means we should always go low before God, acknowledging that it’s His power, mercy, and grace that we need in order to do what He’s called us to do. Without these things, we can’t be successful. So yes, we should carry ourselves with a humble disposition.

  However, that humility isn’t code for being a doormat and allowing people or companies to walk all over us. When it comes to negotiating for what you’re worth, you can’t be overly humble about the value you create. Arrogance has no place in any negotiation, but neither does self-abasement. Never be afraid of articulating your value or being clear about what you want and why you want it. Value who you are, what you know how to do well, and what you bring to the table that nobody else can. Because there’s only one person who can do what you do. As you serve, as you learn, and as you apprentice, you become more valuable. You’re gaining the experience and expertise you need to finally receive the compensation you’ve always known you’re worth.

  One of the ways to walk the tightrope of confident advocacy without crossing into arrogance speaks to the Commandment we learned before:

  You Have to Carry a Crown Before You Can Wear One

  When you have been of great service and created great value, that becomes your platform for declaring your value and asking for what you want without seeming arrogant. The reason I had such a rapport with the heads of Sony and engaged in such intense, candid negotiation was that I had built up great equity with them. I had worked at Sony for more than six years and worked on some of the studio’s biggest and most profitable hits, including The Pursuit of Happyness, Hancock, 21, The Karate Kid, and Jumping the Broom. If I had tried to make the demands I made without having been of service to the company for years, I would have failed. Having proven myself in performance and character freed me to be assertive while remaining humble.

  A SELF-IMAGE OF VALUE

  This all starts with a self-image that’s based on the knowledge that you create value. Scripture says that we were made in the image of God. Do you realize how powerful that is? God is the most powerful force in the universe and we are made in that same image. We have to get up every day and believe in the person God created who looks back at us in the mirror. If we don’t believe in ourselves, we diminish the power by which we were created.

  The best way to honor God with our lives is to believe in who He created us to be and live that every day. In addition to being value-based in our beliefs, we must also be value-based in how we view ourselves. You need to believe that you are valuable and keep reminding yourself, “This is who I am. This is what I do well. This is how I’m creating value. This is what I’m worth.”

  This is where humility—really, false humility—sometimes trips us up. Author Jacob Nordby writes, “False humility is a form of psychosis which was imprinted on most of us since birth. It is a mental illness because it locks us in a victim state of keeping our light turned down, denying who we really are and silently begging for permission to simply show up as ourselves in the world. But there is good news. This is a jail whose lock is broken. We can walk free whenever we know the truth, and by so doing we show others an example of an end to madness. An example of freedom.” We’re taught to be like Jesus—and then we’re taught that he was meek and mild, like in the old hymn “Gentle Jesus, Meek and Mild” or the popular Christmas song “Jesus, Oh What a Wonderful Child” with the lyric “Jesus, Jesus, so lowly, meek, and mild.”

  These representations of Jesus are not historically, biblically, or spiritually accurate. There was nothing meek or mild about how Jesus lived on this earth. He was strategic. He understood the political climate. He was determined. He was focused. He was persistent. He was passionate. All of these things made up who he was, and because of them, he was incredibly effective. Not because of false humility. He walked in the power and authority of his father and he made no excuses for it.

  As you are climbing the ladder, bow before God but not before your superiors. Become keenly aware of the value you create. Once you have a sense of that value, and you have tested that value, believe it. Not theologically or intellectually, but practically, because you can see that your work, expertise, and creativity are providing tangible benefits. When I go into the o
ffice or when I’m on a set, I know that what I’m doing is valuable. That is empowering. It brings confidence. When you fight for what you know you’re worth, bring that confidence. See yourself as a value creator. Research and know how your industry is currently rewarding that value. Once you do that, you’ll know what you’re worth and what to ask for.

  False Idols

  Don’t lose sight of what you’re negotiating for. Yes, you want to be compensated fairly based on the value you create, but there’s a spiritual dimension, too. You’re working to fulfill part of God’s design, and the ultimate purpose of any negotiation is to make you better able to do that. Does that mean more money or a promotion to a better position? It could mean both, but have a clear understanding of what God wants for you and what He intends to do through you if you receive the money or promotion. In the end, you’re not just negotiating for yourself. You’re negotiating to receive whatever God has ordained for your life to use for His purpose.

  THE COMPANY LOOKS OUT FOR ITSELF

  Simply asking for what you believe you’re worth doesn’t mean you will receive it. I’ve found that many people go into negotiations thinking that the system operates out of fairness and that if they simply present their case, the company, studio, home buyer, or other party will simply say, “Sure, that makes sense.”

  Sometimes we think, “I’m creating all this value for the company, so they’re going to pay me what I’m worth.” We assume that the company will do right by us. But it doesn’t work like that. The company’s first interest is to do right by the company. If the company can do right by the company by doing right by you, that’s great, but their number one concern is always to make the best possible deal for the company. If they can get you to settle for a dollar less than you ask for, they will. That doesn’t make employers bad people; it’s just the nature of business. This is why it’s so important to resist the temptation to make negotiations emotional. Because when you feel like the company is doing you wrong, and you get upset about it, it will impair how you negotiate. Keep a level head, understand that this is business, and don’t allow your emotions to get the best of you.

  I hope understanding that will help you drop any “They’re going to give me what I’m worth” illusions. No, they aren’t. Any party across the table, whether it’s a car dealer, a mortgage broker, or a corporation, will offer you the minimum of what they think you will accept based on their calculation of their desired profit. It’s your job to know what you’re worth, know what you will accept, and refuse to take less than you’re worth.

  That is extremely difficult for some people to do, I know. It’s difficult even if you weren’t raised in the church and taught this idea of false humility. Most of us fear asking for what we want because we’re afraid whomever we’re negotiating with will say no, and we’ll lose the job or opportunity. Too often we don’t really value ourselves or what we do enough, so we worry that if we push back in any way, we’ll be shown the door. We secretly, subconsciously say to ourselves: I’m not that valuable, so if I object at all, I’m gone.

  But that’s not true. If you’re good at what you do, you’re valuable. If you’re living your Christian values every day, you’re valuable. Hardworking people of good character aren’t exactly falling off the trees, you know. If you have done your homework and made an educated request for what you believe you’re worth based on sound and educated reasoning, the person you’re negotiating with may see it differently, but they won’t be mad that you had the confidence to ask for what you felt you’re worth and backed it up with research. That’s what made my assertive negotiations with Sony possible.

  Keep something else in mind: the person you’re negotiating with will usually offer you less than you’re worth deliberately to see if you push back. Remember, the organization looks out for its own interest first. That means it’s not only okay for you to object to an offer that’s below what you’re worth, it’s expected. When you make a confident counteroffer, you’ll not only have a better chance to get what you’re worth, but also gain respect. Bottom line:

  You cannot negotiate from a place of fear.

  I wasn’t always a confident negotiator. I don’t think anyone is. You learn by doing—by pushing back and being bold and finding out that the sky doesn’t fall. In fact, even though the person on the other side of the desk from you might bluster and feign outrage when you respond to an offer by asking for more, I’ve found that to be largely a performance. In my experience, people in authority like when someone has the guts and confidence to demand what they’re worth.

  How do you gain confidence to do something you’ve never done? I follow two steps that I recommend to you:

  •Affirm that what you need has already been ordained. Every morning I read the Word, pray, and then recite my affirmations. Starting in the summer of 2015, one of my affirmations was: “Mainstream television opportunities will maximize my motivational gifts.” Then, at the end of the summer of 2016, The Dr. Oz Show called and invited me to be a guest on a show they were doing called “Healing America’s Grief.” The taping went so well that they invited me back multiple times, and now I’m a regular on his show doing segments that Dr. Oz calls “DeVon Interventions.” The point is, you don’t have to try to “make it” when you understand that God made you. You are already made. Be confident in who God created you to be and what you’re called to do, and begin to affirm it every single day.

  •Claim it! Years ago, when traveling, I would seek out airport bookstores, go over to the bookshelves, touch all the New York Times bestsellers, and say, “I claim it in the name of Jesus.” I was claiming that I was a New York Times bestselling author even before I became one. Eventually, my last book, The Wait, became my first New York Times bestselling book!

  Know that God has greatness in mind for you and don’t let that greatness be curtailed by fear. Remember who you are. Keep a confident mindset as a way to fight the fear that wants to creep into your spirit and disrupt your God-ordained success.

  THERE’S MORE TO COMPENSATION THAN MONEY

  Elizabeth Gabler, president of Fox 2000 Pictures, is one of the most successful, longest-standing studio executives in Hollywood. She’s behind such box-office hits as Hidden Figures, Marley & Me, The Devil Wears Prada, Walk the Line, and Cast Away. She and I had lunch while I was working on this book, and in our conversation, she mentioned she looks at negotiation as more than just getting as much money as you can: it’s also about trying to achieve the lifestyle you want.

  I agree with her wholeheartedly; when you’re facing a negotiation, remember that compensation isn’t just about money. Don’t get me wrong, money is important, but there are other things that factor into compensation such as time, freedom, and flexibility. It’s also about what you value the most and what you feel you need in order to continue to perform on the job. Negotiation isn’t just a time when you sit down and discuss your salary and benefits; it’s an opportunity to shape your future according to God’s vision and your own. So, before you get hung up on pay, don’t. Step back and ask, “What do I want my whole life to look like?” We spend so much of our time on the job; it’s one of the most important parts of our lives. So why not look at it holistically and try to make work serve not only your financial needs but also your personal ones?

  Two more things to think about:

  •Everything comes with a cost. If you get a $100,000 salary, you’re going to have to meet $100,000 worth of expectations. Money costs time. It can cost relationships. Everything you want costs something, so know that if you’re pushing the negotiation for the maximum amount of money you can get, that will come with increased expectations and pressure to deliver. These are not bad things, but they are things to be aware of and factor into how you negotiate.

  •What you value will change over time. When you’re twenty-five years old, you might go into a negotiation and want money because you’re trying to build your life. You want to buy a house, get a hot car, and travel. Okay. But th
en you get married and have kids, and you find that, while money is still important, it’s not as important as spending time with your little ones. Some types of compensation may matter more, some less. But what you care about will not remain static.

  Ask yourself, what kind of compensation would make a difference in your life? Maybe you’re a corporate sales rep who spends all her time on the road, and you would love to be able to make some of your sales calls via videoconference. That’s a subject for negotiation. Maybe you’re a parent and you want to make it home early enough to have dinner with your kids. There are no right answers. There’s only what you define as compensation and if you can successfully negotiate for it.

  WHAT ARE YOU WORTH?

  Star Wars is one of the most successful franchises in the history of the movie business, and part of its legend includes the fact that George Lucas, its creator, negotiated what Vanity Fair has called “the best business deal in Hollywood history.” The original deal for Star Wars was negotiated in 1973–1974 and Lucas’s then-attorney, Tom Pollock, explained in an interview with Deadline.com that nobody really wanted this sci-fi adventure. So, when Fox entered into negotiations with Lucas, they didn’t care about Star Wars. As far as they were concerned, Pollock explains, Fox was willing to foot the bill for Lucas’s space opera so that they could have his next American Graffiti project.

  After the success of American Graffiti, Lucas could have negotiated for a big pay raise on Star Wars. But he chose not to. Why? Because he knew what he was worth. Pollock says Lucas went into the boardroom with two nonnegotiable requests: he wanted to be in charge of the sequels for the films, and he wanted to control all merchandising for Star Wars. Pollock said, “It’s important to remember that none of the original deal came out of money as those who know something about it might think. It came because George just wanted to be able to make the movies he wanted to make.”